The Dead Don't Stay Buried
by TheyCallMetheTailor
Summary: The paladins of Voltron have finally done it. They've won the war against the Galra Empire, and now it's time to go back home. Allura accepts Lance's invitation to attend his family's celebration of his return and finds herself confronted with painful emotions she'd thought long buried. Oneshot done for Lance Loves Ladies Week ran by McClainNetwork on Tumblr. Under the prompt: Cu


_Author's Note:_

 _Oneshot done for Lance Loves Ladies Week ran by McClainNetwork on Tumblr._  
 _Under the prompt: Cuddles/Kisses_

 _I really struggled with this for some reason. I hope it came out well enough to enjoy. Thank you for reading!_

The sky on Earth was too much like home, Allura thought as she threw back another hard swallow of "moh-hee-toe," as Lance had called it. At least this tasted nothing like her home drink. The starry expanse above her was no exact replica, of course, nothing could ever match the sky of her memories. Not even the sky in Altea _now_. Too much had changed in ten thousand years. But it was close enough to make her chest ache.

Quiznack. _Ten_. _Thousand. Years_. She reached up to take another swallow, only to realize her glass was empty. She turned to peer through the glass door behind her, wondering if she dared leave the sanctuary of the quiet balcony to enter the chaos of the McClain home behind her.

Inside, she saw his father slap Lance across the back jovially. Lance stumbled forward under the blow, body shaking with unrestrained laughter. She'd seen others in his family do this sort of thing enough times to realize it wasn't an act of aggression, but rather, one of affection. His mother, beside him as she had been all night, said something else, and everyone erupted in laughter loud enough to be heard through the closed door.

No, she decided, turning back to face the sky and ignoring the way her jaw ached with unshed tears. She didn't dare go back in right now.

Just as she was turning away, though, Lance's eyes caught hers and she felt her stomach flip. Years of diplomacy training had her face creasing into a smile and her arm raising her glass. She felt a glimmer of relief mingled with disappointment when he smiled back at her, and she quickly looked back out at the stars.

She needed to find an excuse to return to the castle early. She'd thought she could do this and she'd been dead wrong. She'd faced down Zarkon, helped liberate countless planets, and defeated the Galra Empire once and for all, for crying out loud. Yet here she was, defeated by a mere party. She hated the way the sight of Lance so happy with his family made her insides twist with pain. And, she was ashamed to admit it, with no small amount of envy.

"Mind if I join you?" Lance's voice from behind made her jump, and she nearly dropped her drink.

"I-I! Um...what?" she asked, regathering the scattered pieces of her composure. She quickly wiped at moisture at the corner of one eye. My, but this climate was humid.

"Mind if I join you?" he repeated, smile broadening at her fluster, "You know, so I can gaze at the most beautiful sight in the universe while she gazes at the most beautiful sight on earth?"

"Ugh, Lance," she said, fondness in her tone. She felt her muscles relax slightly at the familiar pattern. He took that as the acquiescence it was and slid the door closed behind him, taking up the space right next to her. They remained that way in companionable silence while Allura tried not to think too much about sights she'd never see again. She'd been trying to stop thinking so much ever since she'd stop having to focus on their next plan for battle. A small guilty part of her wished she could return to the time when survival swept up all other considerations in her mind.

"Seems endless, doesn't it?" Lance said.

"What?"

"The ocean," he said, making a broad gesture with his arm to indicate the dark shimmering expanse below the sky, "It goes on forever."

She looked down to where he'd indicated. She'd been so focused on the sky above that she hadn't taken a moment to consider the immense body of water below it. In the darkness of night, it appeared almost as black as the sky, its surface disturbed by constant waves that lent it an almost magical property. It extended far beyond what her eyes could see. "Yes, I...I suppose it does."

Lance smiled ruefully, "You know, I used to think it was the biggest thing ever. It used to make me realize how small and insignificant I was. Until I travelled around with you guys in space, then I realized it was a lot worse."

Allura chuckled softly. "You? Small and insignificant?" She asked with feigned amazement, and a dramatic hand to her heart "I never thought I'd hear such words from you, Lance."

"Right? I blame Coran for that. Back when it all started and I was feeling homesick, he showed me just how tiny I was compared to the universe. I think he was trying to comfort me, in his own weird way"

Allura blinked, then chuckled again, "Strangely, that _does_ sound like Coran."

"At the time, I thought I might never see my family again. I'd never felt so alone in my life" he turned to her then, and fixed her with a stare so searching she thought for a second he might've been seeking out her very soul. She clenched her teeth against the onslaught of emotion welling in her chest at his words. She felt her self-control slipping and her bottom lip tremble despite her best efforts against it.

"He also showed me that sometimes you just need someone to help you feel a little less alone." His brow was crinkled in concern, arms open in invitation, and she finally surrendered to the reservoir of tears fighting for release. They slid down her cheeks freely as she fell against him, wrapping her arms around him as he did the same. He was warm and solid around her, a grounding presence without the least sense of judgement as her silent tears crescendoed into ugly sobs. She felt the loss of her father, her mother, and everyone she'd ever known and loved with every breath.

"It's not fair," she said, hating how childish she sounded but in too much pain for it to matter. "It's not fair."

He held her, rubbing soothing circles on her back and murmuring softly in her ear. "It's not. I know. It sucks."

"I'm never-" her voice was cut off by a hiccupping gasp, "I'm never going to see any of them again."

Lance continued to sooth her, pulling them both onto a bench in the corner so that she was now cradled in his lap. She sucked in an uneven breath. "I'm such a mess," she said through her tears.

"You're not a mess," Lance said, tone scolding now, "You don't have to be the Princess of Altea twenty-four seven, you know. It's _okay_ to be the grieving daughter left behind."

"I'm not-I've had-'" she fought through another gasping sob, " _-years_ to sort through this," she insisted, "I'm so sorry. Why am I so-? Right now of all times." When she was supposed to be celebrating, not bringing Lance down with her at what should've been one of the happiest nights of his life.

"No, Allura, no, you haven't. We've been stuck in fight or flight mode for years, and you finally have time to really process everything. You've lost a lot. You're handling it a lot better than I would, that's for sure. It's okay to freaking _cry_ , you know. You're only human." He paused, "Well, you know what I mean."

Allura felt a bubble of laughter mingled with tears escape her, an overwhelming, powerful maelstrom beating at her like a ship in one of earth's stormy seas. Even still, Lance's presence pulled at her, anchoring her in a steady, comforting way. _I've got you,_ his embrace said, _I won't let you drown._

So she let the emotions roll over her in waves, for once in her life, letting control her, safe in the knowledge that she would still be whole at the end of it all. She continued to weep softly into Lance's chest and he planted gentle kisses in her hair until the waves faded in intensity and her eyes and voice were raw. It was a long time before she felt well enough to push up from Lance's chest to peer at him. She wiped her eyes, taking deep, steadying breaths.

He smiled up at her from his lounging position, "Feel a little better?"

"I...I think so," she said it, surprised to find that it was true. Even more surprisingly, she was only vaguely embarrassed by her breakdown.

"You want to stay out here a while longer?" He asked, and she felt a swelling beneath her ribcage at the sheer force of the kindness he was laying at her feet.

"No," She said quickly, then, more calmly, "No, I…" then she ducked her head shyly, "I'd like to meet your family. Properly this time. They seem...very kind."

And if she thought her heart was overfull before, the smile he turned on her then would've had it bursting at the seams at the sight of the smile he turned on her then. "Oh, man, I've been waiting for this ever since we started dating," he said, and she raised an eyebrow. That had been quite a long time ago. "I mean, I wasn't sure we'd ever make it to this point, but, well...God. They're going to love you, I promise." He pulled her up, tugging gently at her arm, and she let herself be led back to the glass door, where she could see the celebration was still in full force, despite it being well into the night by now. She felt a new emotion entwining itself in the painful ones she'd felt at the sight before.

Hope.

"Oh, and one more thing," Lance said, turning to her.

"What is it?" Allura asked, impatient to get back in. It was hard enough to build up her courage without this stalling.

And then he kissed her, and she was too busy trying to get her thoughts back in order to be afraid as he led her through the door.


End file.
